The Bandits Who Say Need!
by Mysia Ri
Summary: FINALLY! I havn't been able to do ANYTHING on FFN for awhile. Tas/Chi/Kouji as well as some Monty Python thrown in for good measure, no da. Enjoy!


Bandit

OOOooo, I get weird ideas after midnight, no da. This one came about because my friend kept saying "need" while we were talking about Tasuki, Chichiri, and Kouji over the phone. I thought it was a good idea, so here it is with a smmall extension and a bit of a brain teaser to those who   
A) Don't know too much Japanese or   
B) Don;t own a Japanese dictionary and notice things. 

Hmm, maybe I could extend this into a re-write of Monty Python and the Holy Grail...   
I need to finish "Fushigi Akugi first, though... 

The Bandits Who Say Need

Chichiri was making his way to Mt. Reikaku, eager to meet Tasuki's friend Kouji as well as the other bandits. He was half-way there when several men appeared before him.   
"A-ano, who are you, no da?" he asked.   
"We're da bandits who say need," their leader. a blue-haired teen with a scar on his cheek said.   
"Need! Need!" the other bandits chimed.   
"Well, I was going to Mt. Reikaku to-"   
Well, I can't let cha pass unless ya give us what we need," the teen informed with a grin.   
"Need! Need!"   
"Well...alright, what do you need, no da?" Chichiri had already guessed by the teen's appearence that he was Kouji and that they were some of the bandits from the mountain, so he decided to play along.   
"We need...all of yer valuables!"   
"And your shirt!" another bandit called.   
"Need! Need!"   
"And yer shirt," Kouji added.   
Chichiri shrugged and set his kesa, kasa, staff, prayer beads, and shirt on the ground.   
Kouji's eyes raked over the man's body approvingly and decided 'yep, this guy is fuckable.' He noted that he was wearing a mask and smirked.   
"We also need...yer mask."   
"Need!"   
"Alright," Chichiri purred seductively and he pulled the false face off and casually tossed it on the pile. Tasuki had warned him about 'bandit; tendancies, but he was having fun messing with their sex-drives.   
Kouji's grin widened. Yep, he really liked this guy. And since he seemed to be a monk...   
"An' now we need...yer virginity!"   
"Need! Need!"   
"My virginity?" Chichiri asked in mock horror. "Gomen, demo, I can't, no da."   
"Well, ya can't pass unless ya give us what we need," Kouji sing-songed.   
"Need! Need!"   
"Oh, but you don't understand, no da. I *can't* give you my virginity because Tasuki took it, na no da," the mage said innocently.   
"Tas'ki?" Kouji asked, his jade eyes widening slightly, the smile disappearing from his face.   
"Need?"   
"Oi, Chiri!" the bandit in question called from behind the monk. "I told ya ta wait a minute!" the grinned, baring fangs. He could already guess what was going on seeing that his lover was wearing only his pants and shoes. "What's up, Kouji?"   
"Genrou?!" Kouji cried.   
"NEED!" the other bandits cried, scattering.   
"Yeah...this here's Chichiri, da one I told ya 'bout in my letter..Is there something wrong? Kouji?"   
Kouji had fallen to the ground in a dead faint.   
"Kouji's ok, no da," Chichiri reassured his lover. "He's just suffering from want, na no da."   
Kouji screamed, covering his ears. "Don;t say dat word!"   
"What word, 'just', no da?"   
"Nah, Chiri, it's just that bandit's don't like *that* word when they're in 'need' mode," Tasuki snickered.   
"I think Kouji-kun 'needs' some sake," the monk winked at the bandit.   
"Sake!" Kouji perked up. "Sake good!" 

******Later****** 

"I thought we were havin' sake," Kouji pouted.   
"We are, no da. Now eat up before it get's cold, na no da!" Chichiri smiled, setting a plate of sake, rice, and chicken before the bandit.   
"Demo...demo..." Kouji stammered and then started to cry until Tasuki came in holding a bottle of sake.   
"SAKE!" Kouji chimed, glomping Tasuki's waist. 

*****Five bottles of sake and a half hour later...****** 

"So...that was a three-some, no da?" Chichiri panted softly, regaining his breath.   
"Yep, aka-chan. Ya like it?" Tasuki asked, hugging him tighter.   
Chichiri snuggled down between Tasuki and Kouji and sighed softly.   
"I...think I could get to like this, no da." 

~~~OWARI~~~   


Now, every take out your Japanese/English dictionaries and see what Chichiri made for dinner, no da ^_~*   
  
"Need!"   
*sigh* ::gives Tasuki a bottle of sake:: 


End file.
